~~jealousy~~

i dono i should say this is a jealousy or wat?? cuz my english is not gud, if u know any better words pls tell me n let me rephrase.

ok, the story is like this, i hav a photoshoot wit a guy few months ago, during the photoshoot, i did tell him wat i wan n take this this particular type of picture m angel, i aso did told him those editin effect i want. he said "ok ok, i know i know, i can i can" fine then, i trust him. the time i get those pic bac, its really out of wat i wan. down graded. down down down.

fine, i try to not talk wit him, hav any other photoshoot wit him, but he keep on text, call, msn me. i feel bad to hurt ppl then i do give respon. (shall i block him n ask him go to hell? XD)

this afternoon i took some picture by myself n posted on facebook (this is the reason i wrote the "critics" part cuz alot ppl say not nice =.=) i think he saw those picture, he juz call me who took those photo for me. i really lazy to talk wit him, even he msg me in msn i also din reply. he is like askin for details who is takin those photo for me n i also do feel tat this question hidden with another question that is "why u did find me to take those photo for u?"

i felt so irritated. really wanna hang up the phone =.= wat do guys think?

gosh, i critique again =.=

~~critics~~

i believe everyone love to critique on something or even someone. its easy to critique but its not easy to accept it. thanks to bebe, i realise watever the books say its true, hopefully it will really works.

lately i try to control myself not to critique on anythin or anyone. cuz i really hate to listen things tat i don like, though some comment might help me correct my mistake but it totally drain all my motivation on doin something.

its hard to control cuz its fun critizing ppl. though i know its wrong. but the moment i realise its too late. =.=

i really wish to hav alot fren, close fren, who doesn't wish to hav alot fren? but do i consider better? cuz i do hav at least on fren understand how i feel. hmmm

did i mention wat happen to the cny gatherin? at first my fren all agree wanna visit each person house to celebrate cny, since no one make the move, i try to call everybody in the group even my fren to visit my house first then go around to others place. there is one of my fren(miss Y) cant go cuz goin to hong kong wit family, this i can understand, then i ask another fren(miss W), but she say since miss Y is not here then she suggest another day. i know tat there wont be an another, even there is i don think she will ask me to join.

then fine, i went to another girl (miss V) at first she said she fine wit it, she can, once i told her miss W is not goin, she started to change her mind saying tat "anyway i'm not free tat day aso" tat really pissed me off. since this fellow not goin becuz her, and then same happens to the other one, fine, fuck up n fuck off. don wan go then juz cancel everythin.

i hav no idea y its so sweet durin the secondary but once away from the school all off us seems so apart. did i not try to keep in touch or juz tat i m the one u guys think should be ignore n left a side?

haiz.. here goes all my critique again. maybe u who readin will think i m abit narrow minded, shouldn't care pr give a damn about such small things. but one thing u need to know, u r not goin through wat i m goin through, u r not facing wat i m facing. the way we were raise were different.

really not wish to hav all this, really wish tat my life would juz turn totally diff n gud once i wake up tomolo.

~~nice shot~~

always wanted to have some photo taken by the pro photographer. juz like the fine colour, angle n those undescrible feelings. here is one. though i dono he really a pro or not. but i do like some of his pic. especially the photo tat taken in the garden wit a lake. like tat alot.
here is the link : http://seraphbluephoto.blogspot.com/

anyway, did i mention the photograher is kinda man too?? keke

~~ u r fool~~

i'm surprise... i m so surprise that u r fooled by some guy AGAIN~!

i chat wit him last nite. was the second time. kinda enjoy chattin wit him. he said he is single. he is doctor, car, look, age he got everything. we do exchange number at the end.
who knows. i juz call him juz now n he say he dono me. then the guy on the phone say he is his bf. confuse huh? so do i.

how stupid can i be, i thought i could be his one. i think too much huh. how can i be tat stupid. i fall into such trap again n again yet i din learn. when will i be strong n wake up from all this non sense thought n dream?

tylus, 阿宝 n orange guy. i cant look bac anymore. pls leave my memory i beg u.....

~~cny~~

huhu~~~ lucky this chinese new year was that bad as i aspected.

cuz the first day of chinese new year was also my 20th birthday (sob start wit number "2" adi)

there were quite a few thing happen durin this cny, sad thing, funny thing, happy thing, scary thing, shock n relief thing.

lets start wit happy thing. though din celebrate much for my birthday but thx to my first n secon aunt n also my cousin sis connie cuz they make cupcake for me~~ here is the pic

now wit the shock thing, i was told tat my turtle run away from the scoop. i was like wat??!! but its kinda weird tat my aunt n grandma say they cant find it even after they search every corner in the house. cuz i juz found it my turtle within like 5 to 10 minutes. tats the relief things isit my turtle know i m bac home or i know my turtle well? creepy huh~~?

the sad thing was my grandpa juz indirectly kill my fishes. i told my aunt juz give my fishes eat little onli. my granda happily pour a tea spoon like tat to my fishes. its lucky tat my favourite adult n baby guppy fishes r still alive or else i will definately fight wit him. he claim tat my water was too hot for the fisdhes =.=

scary thing is my exam n assignment due date is near scary ar~~~

funny thing was during the journey when i bac from kedah wit my family. my sis say one thing tat make me still remember til now.
先生，你玉树临风，英俊潇洒，可惜你懒觉生cancer，喝了我这个牛懒墩猪害，包你gugu硬过螺丝刀。

i think tats all about it lo~~~ happy cny

~~great day~~

today suppose to hang out wit my secondary old mates but unfortunately her mom ask her to do something so she did make it at the end. at least i got another fren accompany me. kinda crazy today. we watch 2 movie in a row. 12.10pm - 1.55pm then the next movie is 2.00pm - 3.30pm.

first we watch legion. i quite like tat movie. sayin tat one day jesus lost his faith toward human n send all his angel to kill man kind. this is becuz jesus is fade up see-ing his children killin, fightin, against each other due to selfishness. but left onli one angel still believin in human still havin strong love among each other. the best part is when both angles r fightin against each other. i like their wings so so so much. its so cool. i juz don understand y such nice movie no one come n watch it. its quite empty in the hall

after the movie finish, i dono wat came into me, i feel like wanna watch another movie. so we bought tickets for spy next door. funny n touchin movie. basically alot ppl like jacky chan's show n movie. wat to do? he is globally famous~~~ the next movie tat i wanna watch will be alice in wonderland, johnny depp is in there~~ huhu~~ the lightning thief, i don really remember the full tilttle but its about god, immortal, human n demond thingy. my type of movie, magical n fantasy~~ last but not least~~~ wolfman~~~~ ahwu~~~~~ must watch~~

great days ppl~ if someone readin. hope my family r all cure from any disease n virus be4 CNY. happy valentine too~~

~~sick~~

omg omg omg~~~ i m freakin scare n worry. my aunt told my dad that my cousin got H1N1!!!!!!
lately i m feelin not well too. not juz onli me. my parent n my sis too. coughin, sore throat, i worry my cousin has pass those disease to us. come on, CNY is near n i really don wan anythin bad happen to me n family. especially not on my birthday!!!!!!!!
haiz~~~ gosh, i really wish my flu, sore throat n cough r gone. i don wan hav a ill CNY.

hmm~~ met a guy today, he look quite not bad n the best part is his whole family knows he is gay~~ huhu~~~ goin out wit him this coming thurs aso wit couple of my malay fren. really wish i don hav any H1N1 or disease, didn't wish to pass those virus to them.

lately i aso feel like wanna teach in a tuition centre but i scare i don hav to experience to teach. juz wanna earn some money to buy clothes~ huhu~~ but i kinda lazy to do so. wat if i hav no time do my assignment or wat? i worry i din manage my time well onli. most probably will teach maths if i'm really goin to teach in tuition centre.

dono wat else i can add here cuz not feelin well n abit sad n worry. lord jesus, pls pls pls blesh my family wit health, cure us from all these illness, pain n tragedy. thank you.