~~pokai~~

omg omg omg omg~~~~~
wat i could say for now is onli omg but nothing.
my wallet is goin dry~~ actually i have no more money juz i ask my mom for more =.=
i dono y i m addicted to shoppin lately. omg~~ i dono y i like to spend money so much.
i really wish someone allow me to spend their money~~ haha
i left rm15 to survive til next week. wuwuwu~~~~

anyway~ i juz bought a pair of pig skin lining shoes, one long n short sleeves clothes from ruffle id around rm300+ here. lucky i don hav to pay cuz my grandma n aunt pay it for my chinese new year clothes~~ huhu~~

besides, isit wrong to addicted wit chocolate too?? i juz cant stop my slef from buyin n eatin it~~ its so delicious, i like choco mint, choco wit black forest jelly in it, ferreroche?? i dono how to spell it. gosh~~ so many chocolate i like~ another thing is hagenduz (i got it rite?) i like the rum n raisin. wu~~~~ really blown me away wit the tast~~~

so sad~~~ my birthday is coming, i don think anyone will know or even care to know. i was so hopin my dream guy will get me a bouquet of roses (blue will be perfect), chocolate either cadbury, ferreroche??? or any nice choco, rum n raisin hagenduz, bring me to a fansy dinner then head to the beach countin the stars in his arm n slowly fall asleep~~~
but~~~~ i hav to wake up cuz its juz a dream~~

ohya, about my fish, my 2 male guppy keep on chasin a female guppy shall i buy another female for them?

i really wan2 start study but i m so lazy to study readin u know~~ its like torturing me~
i was hopin to get CGPA 3.25 tat is second upper class honour. but its so har to reach. cuz i hav to get 75 n above for every subject. haiz~~~ tough touhg~

~~clubbing~~

phew~~ juz bac, finish bath~~~
hmmm~~ how should i start this. its pretty sad n happy nite for me.

at first i attended a gathering organize by one of my gay fren (^.^) i manage to know some ppl there but i onli got 2 ppl's number, kinda sad huh? we talk n bullshit at the gathering, all sort of non sense came out of my mouth. the thing tat surprise me is i'm kinda talkative in this gatherin, usually i don talk so much when surrounded by bunch of strangers. even there is a guy praise me tat i m sociable... i m feelin weird tat this "sociable" word somehow connected to me~ who knows, maybe i m but juz tat i haven let my self out~~

i was so hopin tat i can go clubbin wit those guy at the gathering but non of them wanna go. in my heart it was like " wat the hell?!?! if din go clubbin wats the point for me to come out?" incase u guys dono, my mom don let me go clubbin, overnite at fren place or bac home late. somehow i manage to convince her to let me bac home be4 2am. this is like a golden opportunity for me!! tats y if i din go clubbin to nite, it would be somehow an incomplete nite for me. u know wat i mean?

lucky i called my ex to bring me there. i had given my very first time to oblinque. we were there around 11.20pm. not much ppl though. wanted to dance like crazy but i CANT dance!!! i was like a lost soul in there, dono how to move like those who really pro~~ then i left around 1am since i promise my mom to back early. this is the sad part, have to go bac early, i really wanted to continue hav fun in the club cuz i haven "fish" any guy yet. anyway, it doesnt seems to hav alot ppl in the club. hahaha~~~

the first thing i did once i reached home was checked on my fish. juz as i suspected, 2 more fishes die. sad!!!!!!!! i gave the body to my turtle to "tidy" it up. i aso realise i lost my ear ring in the club i think. i got a tiny lump on my neck, wats tat huh? abit pain when press it. i kinda scare about any disease. god, pls bless me wit health. thanks.

anyway, i think tat all about it. will try to update soon. if there r any special things happen on me lo~~

~~kan cheong~~

omg omg omg omg~~~~~
its so "kan cheong" n excited during the evening. every semester i hav to sign for tutorial class online n i hav to fast in order to get the class i wan or else it the slot will juz dissapear in no time~
lucky me i manage to get the class i wan, thz to my god bro who back up me incase something gone wrong wit my line or laptop. surprisingly i still manage to help my fren to sign up the same class after i did mine. i thought there r alot ppl fightin for the class i wan~~ hmmm... thought wrong~~

need to do this for one more class, but dono when the slot will open~~ hope i get wat i wan~

another thing is i got a pimple around my nose hole, shouldn't dig my nose so often ><
hahaha~~ another 2 on my cheek~~ hope it will gone soon~~

~~completely hopeless~~

lately i m kinda into fishes, i bought alot fishes especially guppy fish. i dono why they die so easily but the other type of fish i bought r still alive. 2 of the fish gave birth to alot babies. another mummy fish die wit her stomach full of babies, this is sad. hopefully no fish will die anymore.

anyway, those death fish i use it to feed my 2 cute turtle~~ huhu~~
maybe cuz i fed them wit fish, they seems healthier compare to juz feedin them wit the solid food i bought from the shop (if u get wat i mean).

juz started my class again for second week. my second sem in first year for my pscyhology now. i was so hopin i got holiday on thurs n fri or maybe 2 day off. unfortunately i onli got a day off on thurs, suppose i got a day off on tues too but hav to the the elective this week or else next sem hav more subject to complete. tats a no way for me~

juz havin a 2 hrs class for tues n wed, so tiring. feel like don even wanna go. plus havin a mental disorder lecture, its makin my college life harder. i remember all the senior said she hav OCD aka obsessive-compulsive disoreder means worry something not done well n keep on check back, something like tat. she gave quizes every week, assignments in class n hav to submit at the end of the class(wit time limits too). she don use projector, not even microphone. how can we really learn like this?? the class is so huge, wat ever she write on the board not everyone in the hall can see it.

i know i cant rush love or even friendship but seems then i hav none for these to thing. yes, i do hav fren in college but not much n not all r sincere. i do really mind wat ppl thinks about me, i do concern alot. tats y my secondary fren used to sy i m "perasan" haha~~

ever since i m single, i do try to find another one but i dono y i cant get the one yet. izit becuz i ask for too much? or i m the kind tat no one wants? lately i been somehow rejected by few guy in a row. there gud lookin gud guy find me but they seems juz wanna hav sex, even the old n ugly one. there is one guy he looks real nice to me, mature but i feel tat he is kinda chauvinism. whenever i ask more about him, he will start to raise up his tone, i ask about his job n his family be4 at the end he scolded me n hang up the phone. til now he haven contact me. i try to call him for few days after tat happen but he din answer my call. there r ppl turn to "silence mode" after meetin wit them i guess i don hav to say much about this, most ppl face such problems rite. its really hard to handle it. the next one say he try hard to like me but he cant. sounds so funny huh? haiz... really cant rush or force love....

i pray so hard for the one who really care me n love me at the sametime i care n love him so much will show up soon. i dono whether my wish is heard or not. maybe is heard but juz tat the wish was not granted.

anyway, my birthday coming soon. i bet beside my family not much or barely one will remember it. most probably will juz celebrate wit family again. it will be my 21st birthday next year. i really wish not to be the same again. wish for something new n different or maybe someone special. sigh..... gud luck n all. god bless you.