~~ 朋友 ~~

真的很想认识很多朋友
真的很希望能和那些我想认识的人做朋友
认识朋友的第一步我有踏出啊，我也比较主动，只是觉得 i din gain back the positive energy from tat particular person. 就感觉对方对我好感不想认识我。。。。 haiz...好累

anyway, i work at One Utama celebrity fitness today, i saw a quite muscular hot and handsome guy. i m kinda into him XD
i pass by him for few times in the gym and he look at me (kinda happy tat time)
i was abit bored tat time too, so i played wit the instrument at there. when i tried to play it, he look at me and smile, it make so shy~!! hehe~

hoping to see him again on wed and fri at wangsa walk and sunway pyrimid~

~~ national day or racism day? ~~

i guess i don hav to say much cuz my title already say it all.
wat the government and media show is peace and unite but wat actually happen is opposite of it.
juz take the recent news sayin about a malay principal forbid the chinese student to eat in school area during the fastin month. this principal also said tat any dissatisfaction can take flight bac to china. sound insultin. hmmm

i guess i m kinda lucky tat i have 1 or 2 close malay and indian fren tat can really spill out anythin tats in our mind and heart without hurtin each other much....

as u can see, in the pass few decades, whenever its near the national day, all houses and car will put on the our national flag and even states flag to celebrate national day. but look at the houses n cars now a days. not much of them puttin the flag on it.

i guess is becuz they r somehow disappointed...... who, why n how? i guess i don hav to mention it rite?

~~ restart button ~~

i really wish life do hav a restart button. i guess not onli me wish tat to happen rite?
things juz din get better. i thought by doin tat can "inhibit" it to happen but it din. i juz hope tat it din get worst. there is a moment i felt like wanna end my life juz like this. but i don hav the guts to do so. i m too scare of being in deep pain. sounds coward huh? tats wat i thought.

m i too superstitious to think n blame this on the maid because she kill my goldfish by putting the whole filter machine in the tank causing my black goldfish stuck in the filter machine?

i really wish thing could end fast or hav a restart button. i don wanna be in this situation anymore. its suffering.

who shall i seek help from? friends? family? doctor? or GOD? huh......

pls do let me go....

~~ changes ~~

is it so wrong to change? does changes hurt? or does it bring good?
changes according to the environment and adapt to it, is it so wrong?
changes is to make a person stronger or is juz a way for a person to avoid and escape some matter?

i somehow juz get a complaint from one of my friend.. she said she cant stand me anymore and wats wrong wit me? she said i changes alot since we left high school. indeed tat i hav change. i change my style so as my attitude. i turn into a person tat very greedy, like money alot, like to spend and maybe more which i didn't notice.

i do admit lately i wanted to spend n buy alot stuff. maybe is becuz alot ppl look way better than me in all way... another friend of mine said i use to be guy who like to win but now i m more to a free-thinker.. this is one thing tat i don get it.. did i really change tat too? i din have such thought and attitude is becuz i knew i cant win or juz tat i m really tired of competing?

who doesn't wish to be a better person? change to be better and known!? who doesn't...? anything can happen in 3yrs time. alot things can be change... i do remember kimora (a model & designer) said tat everythin come and go. husband come and go, friends come and go but children don come and go.

friends come and go.. i really agree wit wat she said really. lookin at my friends come and go.. its a very painful thing for me. changes to adapt environment. you r not wit me for 3yrs. how could u say my changes is something bad? my changes is something worst?

becuz of my changes, one (or maybe more) of my friend had left me. she never talk wit me. no respond from her. i hope is juz tat i think too much...