~~love style~~

How I should start wit this? After I look through some gay movie and some love comment from couples. I start to think alot kind of thing. Will gay love really end up like wat is shown in the movie? End wit sad ending? Or can it be like those comment from the couple - sweet and romance. But will this sweet and romance last for long?

Most of the time I do really feel jealous of these couples. They seems like the most perfect match for each other based on their comments. Maybe they been through some hard time which I dono, but compare to mine, I felt mine is juz to flat and normal. I always wanted to have a wild, excited, adventurous wit romance kind of love. But someone did tell me I should love sensibly. He said those wild and excited love may sound nice and fun but it wont last for sure.

For my age, u should know that I will rather pick wild and excited for this moment.
Bebe, i do really wish we could be like any other gay couples. I know u r fear of the public thought but wats the point being affraid of it. Taking some topless pic wont hurt much. I can promise not to show it out.

Sometimes I did asked my self y everyone can show their lovely pic and talk about themselve on the net but y cant we? Sayin this those mean that our relationship sucks or wat. At least let me feel the wildness once a blue moon or anything not so plain. I know wat other ppl do doesnt mean that we hav to follow, doesnt mean its rite, but cant u treat it as once a life time thing? i m sure u will say I start to complaint alot again, but complaint can let ppl know how u think, wat u feel in a more direct way, though it may hurt some feel, somehow feelin can be over come through time rite?

I know I cant expect u to change, cuz once u change it wont be u anymore. Its juz tat sometimes think of such thing and relate it wit us, juz feel abit down n sad. 真想拥有你的一切一切，你的心，你的思想，你的灵魂。。。

~~brothers gathering~~

Gosh, wat a day. Today I have to handup my assignment, cuz its the last day to submit it. I don really think I did the assignment well. Everything is so last minute work. The assignment require to link wit psychology principle using theories to support my point. I think I barely got any theory there. I juz when to college n submit my assignment then bac to my parents shop le.

I hav no idea wat to do in the shop. The shop was close for gate repairment but I wanted to go out for "kai kai". I start calling n sms-ing anyone who is free to go out wit me. Luckily my god brothers are free to go out wit me. At first I was blamming on them for not calling me out as they had adi planned to go out be4 I called. This is the first time I m meeting all 4 of my god bro and might also be the last time for 4 of us to meet up. Cuz one of my god bro is goin to leave us and bac to his hometown for a long time. (I know thins after the gathering onli) I juz don understand why his parent willin to stop his studies due to one failing paper? hey bro, its ur future not their, u should fight for it. Wat r u goin to do after this then? Will u be sure that u will like the job n stick wit it? Will it goin to support u currency? U really need to talk wit them.

besides my 3 "little"brothers, i also did few other guys. one of the guy called dian dian r kinda attractive~~ at first he really gave me a very bad impression in the forum. but after talkin wit him, he is not tat bad. Infact, he is kinda fun to hang around with. There was a moment i was so into him. He is so smart, resourceful.... hard to describe it in words maybe is the inner charm I think. While jacky is those bad boy type tat i like. Eric is the dum dum n cute look. Gosh~~ so attractive, feel like wanna rape them~~ haha~~

Did i mention anythin about my brothers? They look so diff from their pic!!! 4 of us r wearing spec but i m to shortest!! swt~~~ Talkin about brothers, I feel abit sad about it. One of them has to leave soon. things happen so fast. Really wish it din't happen. Is there anything I can do to stop this? He will be less online as he go bac to his hometown. This will make it more hard to keep in touch. I m afraid that our brothers relation will tend to be losen... Juz pray and hope that all of us will get our freedom soon(especially me) so that we can meet anytime we wan2.

lala, have to be strong on wat u wan. I know it may not be easy for u, u might say tat I din go through as wat u did. But at least try to fight for wat u wan even the posiblity is low. Things tend to change as u wan it to change. If i know u goin to leave, i think i will seranade u there. Love u and all the best.

this is the our brothers picture. although i look very horrible in the pic but juz look at our smile. juz look at us, we seems like we r the richest man at tat moment. no money or thing can exchange for a moment like tat.

i tend to like this pic more, cuz i look way more better and normal than the other one~~~

~~nice day? bad day? fortunate day? unfortunate day?~~

Today I went to interview my bebe god bro for assignment purpose. I go to his god bro house together with bebe lo~~ When I reach the station, I was kinda blur n lost, cuz I never been to tat station be4 as I seldom go out from my from my parent sight. =.= ( kinda pity huh? but my parents really not so strict la~~)
After I met bebe, I ride on his motor to his god bro house lo. Last time he don let me put his around his waist when got ppl around, cuz he said he mind how other ppl look n think of him. But today, I put my hand on his shoulder lo, he ask me something tat make me happy. "why you put your hands here(shoulder)?" then he continue with "put ur hands around me ma.(something like tat)".
I was so happy n touch after listen to wat he said. he start to change his thought n mind. I dono he is changing it for me or wat, cuz he told me be4 tat I should change for myself, not for other ppl or him. but this time, I will assume he is changin tat for me(perasan hor?).

When interviewing his god bro, I totally dono wat his god bro talkin about. There was a moment my brain like sort of blank. He talkin IT wit me, I dono anything about it. Then I try to understand n write the thing tat I think is important lo.
Tats y I hate interview ppl, talkin wit ppl, dealing wit ppl in formal way n so on. But wat to do, I m a psychology student, I hav to face all this problem, cuz I really wish to be a clinical psychology but not those who issue medicine.
After interview then he chat while wit his god bro then we left lo. I don think I hav to discribe the sweet moment after we left rite? Although over topic don really match all the time, but at least we hav something to talk about, can get n gain info about others.
Wat I wanna say is he start to open up alot wit me lo~~~~ so happy. When on the motor, my tears nearly slip off cuz of wat he said to me be4~~~

I thought this is a sweet n happy day to me till a jerk strike in n ruin my day. I was tryin to buy clothes for my cousin n me in Pavillion. I try on some clothes n jeans. When I was changin in the fittin room, this salesman come in n give me other clothes to try, then I thought its ok, cuz both r guys n he can onli see my underwear onli not my dick.
Then he use his finger to put in my pants n see whether its too tight or not, fine then, cuz i hav similar experience be4 where by my fren n the salewomen was there aso. Then he put his finger in my underwear n touch my hair. He said "wow, u hav alot of hair." fuck him, then later on he pull my underwear to see my dick in a rough way n sayin i hav a big dick.
He is so ugly n fat!!! Incase u wanna know, he is a chinese guy, fat, ugly old, working in the EX shop at Pavillion sixth floor.
Becuz of this idiot, my happy day r mess up by him. But bebe told me not to angry about it lo. He ask me not to think of things which not important that will ruin the happy day. Its hard to overcome it u know, bebe~~

流泪了。。。。

我在家常给家人骂，时常那我和谁家的孩子比。
我真的很不喜欢，很讨厌。。
我要的是一个能疼惜我，照顾我的男朋友，而不是像我家人酱来骂我，那别人和我比。
你妹妹是妹妹，我是我，根本是两个不同机构的。
生活环境的因数是会影响一个人的性格成长，难道你不懂吗？
我真的很累了。。。
你就不能迁就我吗？？
就连现在我写着这个blog我也很小心翼翼的。
是为了避免你再挑剔我的错误于不对。
只是要一个人的疼惜那么简单的东西，难道要付出一个代价吗？